Parenting Guide for New Dads: Surviving Year One (Part 2)

Part 2 - Introduction

In the first part, we explored what to think about before the baby arrives. Now, let's dive into the key things to focus on once your little one is here. These were the things that stood out the most to me personally.

I hope you find this helpful!

After the Baby is Born

1. Lean on Your Support System

Let’s get real: there will be days when you feel like you're failing, and that’s completely normal. The key here is to remember that asking for help doesn’t make you a bad father—it makes you a smart one. If you have friends, family, or neighbors willing to lend a hand, use them. Don’t try to do everything yourself. The early weeks (and months) of fatherhood can feel overwhelming, but leaning on others can give you the energy and mental space you desperately need.

Here are some specific ways to tap into your support system:

• Designate helpers for specific tasks: If your family or friends offer to help, don't hesitate to assign them specific duties. For example, ask someone to handle meal prep or laundry for the week. That frees you and your partner to focus on your baby.
  
  

• Nighttime shifts: If possible, rotate night shifts with your partner or family members. Even a few nights of solid sleep will do wonders for your mood and energy. If a grandparent or sibling is willing to help out one night a week, take them up on it.
  
  

• Ask for emotional support: It’s okay to vent. Find another dad who’s been through it, or talk to someone who won’t judge you for feeling like you’re at your limit. Sometimes, just getting your frustrations out is enough to help you reframe your day and push through.
  
  

• Set up a communication plan: If you have a friend or family member who’s been through the parenting trenches, schedule a regular check-in with them, like a weekly phone call or video chat. This can give you an outlet to ask questions or talk through your challenges without waiting until you're feeling overwhelmed.
  
  

Remember, the more rested and supported you feel, the better you can be for your baby and your partner. Sleep deprivation is real, and it can cloud everything, so take every opportunity to get some rest.

2. Manage Your Expectations

There’s a widespread myth that as soon as your baby is born, you’ll instantly feel an overwhelming sense of love and devotion. For some people, that might happen—but for many (myself included), it took time. Bonding doesn’t happen overnight, and that’s okay.

The first few weeks can feel more like a blur of exhaustion than a picture-perfect moment. You’re operating on little sleep, your life has changed in ways you didn’t fully anticipate, and your baby, well… they’re not exactly the heart melting, adorable little angel you imagined. This can make it hard to feel that deep connection you might have expected.

To manage your expectations, here are some strategies:

• Accept that bonding takes time: If you don’t feel that deep love right away, don’t panic. You’re sleep-deprived, adjusting to a new routine, and learning to care for a tiny human who can’t communicate yet. The bond will grow as your baby starts responding to you with smiles, eye contact, and gestures. Give it time.
  
  

• It is okay to make mistakes: You're learning on the job. It’s easy to set unrealistic standards for yourself, but fatherhood is a journey, not a destination. If you feel like you’re not doing well enough, take a breath and remember that every parent feels that way sometimes. Just showing up every day makes you a good dad.
  
  By the way, raising a kid is not a fork in the road with only two paths: good decisions and bad decisions. It's actually thousands of forks in the road, each with varying degrees of good and bad decisions. Making a mistake or ten won't mess up your kid. They are resilient and consistency over the long term will affect how they grow up. That one time you forgot to sterilize their bottle is not the end of the world.
  
  It is extremely important to acknowledge it is okay to make mistakes. In fact, it is okay to make lots of mistakes. I certainly did, and my kids forgives me and loves me all the same.
  
  

• Recognize that you are your own worst critic: In the haze of new fatherhood, it's easy to focus on everything you think you're doing wrong. You might compare yourself to other dads who seem to have it all together or beat yourself up for not being the “perfect” parent. But here’s the thing: most of that criticism is coming from you. Your partner, your baby, your friends—they don’t see the mistakes you do. Instead, they see someone who is showing up, who cares, and who is trying. Cut yourself some slack. You’ll make mistakes, but as long as you’re learning and improving, you’re doing great.
  
  

• Find your escape tool: Take small breaks, even if just 5 to 10 minutes to escape into whatever it is that helps you take your mind off what seems like a never ending nightmare. For me, that escape mechanism is playing video games. Unfortunately, there are no PC games that I can play for just 5-10 minutes at a time while moving around, so I have converted to mobile games.
  
  You'll find a section in the navigation menu where I wrote about some of the games I played recently. If you're a life-long gamer like me, take a look and share your thoughts!

  
  

3. Useful Daily Products

• Sling or Carrier: This allows you to keep your hands free while carrying your baby, making everyday tasks easier. It’s also great for bonding and comforting your newborn. You'll use this a lot.|
  
  The sling that I used is not available anymore and I don't have any personal experience using any of the current products. I won't recommend any products I haven't used myself, but there are various sling styles and I prefer the type used by the men in the image below. I felt the wraps were too much of a hassle to put on.
  

• Adjustable Crib: A crib that can adjust its height or convert into a toddler bed is a great investment. It grows with your child and offers safety at different stages, reducing the need to purchase multiple sleeping arrangements. It's also surprisingly tiring to lifting and lowering a 10 lb. weight into a crib mattress that is low to the ground, especially for the moms. It's not great for your lower back either.
  
  Personally, I had two cribs and the one with adjustable height was much better because after a couple years, my kids were able to climb out of the non-adjustable one.
  
  Recently, there seems to be a surge of popularity for multi-purposed cribs that functions as a crib, couch, and full bed. This one from Dream On Me, a 30 year family owned company, has 4 functions and 4 adjustable heights.

Conclusion

Whew, that was a lot.

The first year of fatherhood is no joke. It’s messy, exhausting, and filled with self-doubt—but it’s also full of tiny victories and profound lessons. There will be times when you question if you’re doing it right. Lean on your support system, adjust your expectations, and remember that it’s okay to ask for help.

Just remember, you’re not in this alone, and the fact that you care is proof that you’re doing an amazing job.

• Sippy Cups: Transitioning from bottles to sippy or straw cups is a key milestone for one-year-olds. Look for spill-proof options that help prevent messes while encouraging independence. Popular brands like Munchkin 360 and Nuby are highly rated. Don't forget to also buy some pipe cleaners for washing the inside of the straws.

• High Chair That's Easy to Clean: Personally, I recommend just getting a cheap, simple, practical chair without a ton of bells and whistles. The only thing you really want is a removable tray (for easy cleaning) and removable fabrics (also for cleaning). This thing is going to get dirty. Your baby is going to spill anything and everything onto this, so easy to clean is an absolute must. All other fancy functions are not that important.
  
  For high chairs, I used Evenflo, which is a lower priced brand and, in all honesty, of average quality. But it's good enough for the price point. I have used a few Evenflow strollers and high chairs, all of which lasted until the kids out-grown them.
  
  

• Baby Gates: As one-year-olds become more mobile, keeping them safe is critical. Baby gates help block off stairs or dangerous areas. I used 3 different brands of baby gates, 2 for my stairs, and 1 for the kitchen.
  
  The Munchkin baby gate is by far my favourite. It is made of metal and extremely sturdy. Absolutely do not buy the plastic or mesh ones because they are quite flimsy. Also avoid any gate that claims to be no installation required, meaning it uses pressure to lodge itself between the walls. These are incredibly unreliable.
  
  Another thing to look for is the locking mechanism. Many mechanisms are easy to learn and my kids were able to open them around year 2-3.
  
  The Munchkin baby gate has an ingenious lock (see below) that is easy for adults to open with one hand (which is surprisingly important), but very difficult for toddlers to figure out. Even when my kids got old enough to understand how to work the mechanism, they didn't have the finger strength and coordination to actually unlock it.

• Convertible Car Seat: At this age, it’s often time to transition from an infant car seat to a convertible car seat that can last through toddlerhood. Look for highly rated, safe options like the Britax Boulevard ClickTight.
  
  For me, the safety of my children is the most important, so this is one thing I would not recommend saving money on. I have tried several different brands of car seats (because I have 2 cars and 2 kids, so I bought 4 car seats), and there is a huge difference in quality at different price points. My favourite by far was Britax. It's pricy, but well worth it for the peace of mind I got.
  
  When choosing yours, pay attention to the maximum weight allowance. Try to get one with high weight so you can use it longer. Ideally get one that is rear facing, forward facing and can be converted into a booster seat, so you won't need to buy anymore car seats in the future.
  
  I will write an entire article on car seats separately.

• “Healthy Baby Foods” but be careful: Many baby foods claim to be healthy but are often loaded with sugars or lack proper nutrients. According to The George Institute for Global Health, 60% of all "healthy" baby foods in stores fail to meet nutritional recommendations, and 0% meets World Health Organization (WHO) promotional requirements (source)
  

  If you are keen to feed healthy foods to your baby and have the financial means to do so, I recommend these brands:

4. The Best Toy (Yes, I'm only recommending one)

• Stacking Toys or Blocks: Simple stacking toys or blocks can help develop fine motor skills and keep toddlers entertained for long periods. Melissa & Doug wooden blocks and Green Toys stacking cups are popular choices.

  
  My personal favourite though, are oversized Lego blocks. These are also called Mega Blocks. They train your toddler's motor skills as well as colours and simple shapes. These toys stay relevant for many years because it allows the child to exercise their creativity - my kids played with them up to 4 years old. This toy had the best longevity of anything we ever bought and is my #1 pick for toys to get toddlers.
  

One important note - if you have a staircase that has a wall on one side, but only a banister on the other side, you'll need to make sure the banister has a flat surface to attach the gate to. Round shaped banisters won't work. This problem is the same for most baby gates, so keep that in mind.

• Baby strollers: There are many options for strollers, with a huge range in price. Strollers will play a pretty important part of your life for 3-4 years, so I'll write a separate article on these in the future.
  
  What I have come to realized after becoming a dad is going out with my kids is stressful. My survival instincts are on full throttle as I constantly scan for threats to my kids. A man walking by holding a hot cup of coffee? A dog without a leash? A worker carrying a heavy box? A biker making a turn? For that, I need my hands free, so I can react quickly.
  
  But when you go out with a toddler, you need a bag of diapers, bottle of water, wet wipes, change pad, extra clothing in case she vomits, maybe a hat, and I always want a cup of coffee ......what you need is a stroller that has room to carry all this stuff.
  
  So when picking your stroller, pay attention to inventory space. Take note of how much stuff you have to carry when you go out with your toddler, and make sure the stroller has sufficient space. And if you're a coffee addict like me, make sure it has a good cup holder.